Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Namatay today ang mom ng kaklase namin. Na guilty ako kasi kaninang umaga eh naisipan ko pang itext siya kung bakit di pa na email sa akin yung lecture powerpoints na iki-quiz ngayong Biyernes. Sheesh.
I have this thing for death. I can't say I don't fear it totally, but then I also am not afraid of it. I mean, I don't care if I die right after this post. Its just that I've given death too much thought when I was younger, it now has lost its appeal. I've contemplated suicide a lot for a teenager. You see, I come from a troubled family but that's a whole different story all together. I guess that's why I have, on some level, overcome it.
But what I can't stand are the thoughts of an uncertain future now that such an important person as one's mom is no longer there. For one, if it were to happen to me, the money matters my mom handles are just way too complicated. She can run the Central Bank for all I know and she'd have made the Philippines a first-world nation long ago. Second, I'd miss my mom's version of early morning banter which technically is actually a litany of her frustrations fueled by my ineptitude. And perhaps, third, without my mom, my family, or the semblance of a family that it now is, would just fall apart.
To our ever dedicated class president, my sincerest condolences. Grieve for now but don't forget that with tomorrow comes a glimmer of hope and better days.