Sino Ako?

My photo
Davao City, Philippines
"Hi, Me!" coz my name is Hayme and I still am getting to know myself. A Medical student. A geek. A hopeless romantic. Gay. Single since being out. Single since birth for that matter. Accompany me as I redefine myself.

Friday, September 24, 2010

New Moon

A few kids sa neighborhood while I was walking home:
Kid 1: Parang full moon ngayon.
Kid 2: Di ah, kahapon pa kaya.
Kid 1: So ano na yan ngayon?
My evil alter-ego guffawed hysterically inside.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Cardiac Surgical Pathology

In light of my first time to pass a Surgery quiz, let us all sing together now! "For the first time..."

So yes, I passed that Surgery quiz I was studying for the night I decided to blog again. I got 35 over 60. Yes, it was that freaking hard. But then the highest score was 41 and since 10 questions weren't answered correctly BY ANYONE in the class, they were taken out of the number of items. So I was credited 35 over 50, which made me pass. Happy happy happy. I could pass Surgery naman pala

My heart trully skipped a beat..."Hayme, pasado ka! Pasado ka!"...

=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)

*Rinne's Test is a test of hearing. It compares sound perception through conduction of sound 
via the mastoid process and through air. 

Rinne and I both live in the outskirts of the city so we almost always go home together. Our hour and a half ride through the primetime traffic always makes ample time for all sorts of discussions. Yesterday wasn't dissimilar. 

Hi Me: Ang mga babae ba your-age, nililibugan din? 
Rinne: Huh?
Hi Me: What media portrays is how the male species are when they get aroused. Nagtataka lang ako kung paano           ma-arouse ang mga babae.
Rinne: (after much hesitation)...uhm, Oo. Ano ba naman 'tong topic natin. (kuliglig uli) Pero, oo. 
Hi Me: So, ikaw, na...teka...para di tayo maintindihan. Kung ang rhinoceros may "horns" and elephants may "tusk". 
Rinne: Ano? Paano napunta sa hayop?
Hi Me: Basta, sundan mo na lang. Ikaw paano ka ma "tusky"?
Rinne: Hahaha. Eh di, yung, nagmo-moist siya doon.
Hi Me: Ah, so totoo pala talaga yung nababasa ko.
Hi Me: So, tumatagos talaga yun pag namamasa?
Rinne: Wag na nga natin to pag-usapan. Wahahaha. Pwede Pathology of the Heart na lang? 
           May quiz kaya tayo bukas.
(Change topic na...di na niya kinaya level ng pagtatanong ko.)

=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)

*The Tail of Spence is an extension of the tissue of the breast which extends into the axilla.

We had Saturday classes today. Pathology of the Heart. While our cute professor (di ako nagsabi, opinion ito ni Spence*) was lecturing endlessly, I started to daydream of this guy in the past who has caused me more than a fair share of heartaches my young heart could handle back then. Emo. Haha. So yeah, I kept remembering him throughout the two-hour lecture. 

How I always waited for him to arrive for our 7am class in Bio-Sci. How we stayed at Chowking Vega to study for Genetics exam and when I taught him how to calculate for Genetic Interference in Gene Recombination. How I feigned "comparisons of hand sizes" with him because of this article I read which I thought was totally phony. How he loved the siomai at SEKS and Papus. How I smiled inside when he finally walked through the Anatomy lecture hall and would always sit at the last row. How I got up from where I was seated and walked past my friends just so I could sit beside him. He was my puppy love. How I felt for him though is still the most I've felt for any other guy. Yes. I'm not gonna be ashamed to say that at 24 years of age, after 5 years of finally being able to say "I'm gay" to myself and to my bestfriends, I still am a newbie in all of these relationship stuff. Hence, my longing to finally have that special someone. Hope God brings him my way soon.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Life's Unfair

Sa mga nilalang na tulad niya ako napapaniwalang di totoong pantay-pantay ang lahat. Hahahaha.
(Screenshot from Playfull Kiss, Kim Hyun Joong a.k.a. Ji Hoo of Boys Over Flowers)

A Sigh

Hi. before I start rambling nonsense, let me first come up with a decent introduction, as that is what I've meant to write the myriad times I started to write for this first post. So here goes...

My name is Hayme. I'm 24. I am from down south from the Philippines. Geek would be a pretty appropriate term for a description of what I most usually am. If my being a second year Medical student wasn't proof enough, I would sit you down next to me under a clear night sky and start discussing Astronomy, Earth Science and how Vega will be the North Star in about 26,000 years from now.

I am also a big Korean fan. Aja!!! Been so since I got to know Dong Bang Shin Ki way back in 2004. I've tried watching all successful Korean dramas and movies I could get my hands on since then. I've got tons of downloaded performance videos of just about any hit chart-topping Korean artist and they're not your typical YouTube quality videos as they're all in 1080p High-Definition.

So yeah, I'm tech savvy but not uber interested in Computer Science things like making my own websites, flash movies and whatnot. I'm the type who could go 5 hours online without food and drinks. Blog surfing, Facebook stalking, editing Wikipedia entries, Plurking, and activities of this level are my usual day-to-day routine unless I have to pour my time into reading Medical books. I love torrenting PC games and movies. I could basically spend all a day's effort on looking for hard-to-find Indie LGBT movies and porn stuffs (yes, I can be horny too sometimes) and I feel great pride everytime I succeed in pirating them.

So yeah, having said it already, forgive me if I reiterate. I am gay. You wouldn't doubt my sexuality once you get to know me but by just looking at me, I don't usually fit several stereotypes. I don't like dressing up. On the contrary, I am a fashion disaster if it weren't for my sisters checking out what I wear if I do decide to go malling. And yes, I don't like shopping for stuff. I just basically go to the mall, pick the shirt I reckon would most represent my overall mood should I choose to wear it in a future event. I don't like going out to parties and bars and boutiques but I do love going to the beach and to mountain resorts.

What else? Uhm, I am a disappointment to my family. My mother trusts me no longer. I wouldn't blame her. No one could. After flunking eight subjects on my last two semesters when I was in UPLB, who wouldn't become the family's black sheep? So I transferred to the Ateneo after having applied for Honorable Dismissal. Why did I go haywire in the first place? Well, it had much to do with Erik Erikson's fifth stage of psychological development. As have most of my gay friends, I got sucked into that blackhole of questions as to who I really was, what my life meant, was my sexuality wrong, would I ever be accepted. You know, the basic questions a young gay Filipino guy would expect to question his own person with. So I got a little stuck, more and more of my free time was put into these thoughts until I just finally snapped back into reality only to find out I was too late in salvaging what academic plans I and my family had. Looking back, I wish I could have done better. Graduating as a UP student just was a dream, now it would never come to fruition.

But too much for negative vibes. I am actually a happy person. Simple things can make me happy. I would go karaoke singing with my friends every after term exams, buy myself tons of spare DVD-R's then burn sought-after Glee, Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, Merlin, Dexter and Naruto episodes for me to watch by my lonesome. I'm basically happy even just with myself.  

Yeah. I remain happy. But I won't deny this longing for a special someone whom I deem I could be happier with. I may suppress it most of the time but I can't deny the existence of a  desperate-romantic alter ego hidden beneath this chipping wall I used to keep myself locked in. It just haunts me sometimes. Scares me enough to make me cry myself to sleep these thoughts of growing up old and gray, all alone.  

But I don't think I'm ready for a relationship just yet. Heck, I don't even have permanent gay friends. Maybe that's why I spend most of my spare moments reading on the experiences of other gay Filipino post-adolescents. That keeps me sane sometimes. Keeps me from believing I am actually an alien in this planet. Hehe.

Hmm. Unless I make this my last paragraph, I don't think I'll ever end. So, I end it with...a sigh. 

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

You've been warned...

It's past 1:30 in the morning. I still have loads of pages to read from Mr. Sabiston, that's my textbook in Surgery. Yes, for I am a Medical Student. This will have to do as my first post. I've actually started to write a more apt post a while ago but then it sounded too geeky. No, it was really geeky. Why start a blog post by explaining what a "Thymine Dimer" is? Heck. I'm so not good at this, blog writing. I'm so used to Facebook and SMS.

Why start a blog in the first place? Well, my friend of 11 years admonished me into doing this. It's been like 3 years since my last blog. And this is my third venture into blog-making. Haha. I'm boring. I know. So if you can put up with me, do so at your own risk.

So anyways, I leave you with this one for now. Proper introductions will be postponed until the next time I log on.